New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
