the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
