I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
