The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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