I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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