dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
