I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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