You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Randomize
