Barsexuality is the new black.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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