I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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