She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
