whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
The Olympian is in my bed
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
