Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
