everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
