WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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