...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
