garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
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