Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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