Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I just saw a hot homeless man
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
