She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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