All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
