Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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