I just made out with a guy for $7.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
