He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
