And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
