Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
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