Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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