Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
