You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
