I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
