bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
