its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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