So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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