I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
