No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Couch. On fire.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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