That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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