I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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