Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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