wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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