There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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