i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
