Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
