i already hear my dad disowning me
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i came on her dog
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
