So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
