this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
