She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
