thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
