you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
50% drunk capacity currently
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
