You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
