I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
